


A Day in the Pear Grove

by NeonBiri



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Cousin Incest, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Oneshot, Pining, Russingon, Secret Crush, Tirion, Tree Climbing, Valinor, Years of the Trees, bad dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29648490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonBiri/pseuds/NeonBiri
Summary: Maedhros and Fingon share their first kiss.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Comments: 12
Kudos: 26





	A Day in the Pear Grove

Maedhros raised his head to the sky as he urged his horse onwards into a gallop. Briefly he closed his eyes as the golden light of Laurelin bathed his face in warmth, and a cool breeze swept through his copper hair. From behind him he heard laughter and the increased pace of horse’s hooves. He smiled and glanced back over his shoulder, and as the skyline of Tirion shrank into the distance, he saw his cousin Fingon, ever his dearest friend, riding up behind him.

It truly was a gorgeous afternoon; the golden light glistened over the landscape and trees swayed gently in the breeze, scattered throughout the hills and plains that stretched out westward from Tirion. A flock of starlings, no doubt startled by his mount, briskly took to the air in front of him, their feathers shining like oil droplets against the sky. _A perfect day for riding,_ Maedhros thought. Fingon laughed again as he at last rode up beside him.

“Too proud to wait for me, Nelyo?” Fingon asked in jest.

Maedhros smirked. “Ah, Finno,” he teased, “you’ve recently come of age, it’s about time you learned to ride swiftly.”

Fingon gasped playfully in mock offense as he quickened his pace, pulling into a gallop slightly ahead. Maedhros watched his cousin’s dark braids woven with gold bounce over his shoulders. Fingon was so handsome, he thought, a true and proud Noldorin prince. And though he was in the company of his dearest friend, and surrounded by such splendor, his heart began to sink as a wave of melancholy came over him.

Ever had Fingon been his closest cousin and friend. Though Maedhros was elder, the two of them were still close in age, and had spent their boyhoods growing up together. Maedhros felt closer to his cousin than anyone, even his brothers (save maybe Maglor). Happy had his childhood in Tirion been, but since his coming of age only a few years ago, he had begun to struggle with his feelings for Fingon. For though he had denied it to himself at first, he had come to realize that his love for Fingon was far more than that of just friendship.

Maedhros was not experienced in the ways of romance; he had never had a lover, neither female nor male. His mother and father both had pressed the subject on multiple occasions – as the eldest son of Fëanor it would be expected of him to eventually take a wife. He would brush aside their prying by saying he felt there was no rush, the Eldar do live such long lives after all, and his current interests in horseback riding and swordplay took up so much of his time. But at night, under Telperion’s dim silver sheen, when all his household was asleep and all was quiet, he would lie in his bed and he would think only of Fingon. He would close his eyes and imagine what it would be like to hold his sweet cousin in his arms against him, to run his hands over his strong torso, to breathe in the scent of those silky braids, to bring his cousin’s lips to his own in a kiss and taste such bliss.

Though he had delighted in the pleasure of such fantasies, there was shame also. He knew his father would never approve of his feelings. Fëanor’s distaste for his half-brother, Fingon’s father Fingolfin, was ever a burden upon their friendship. He could only imagine in horror his father’s wrath that would be rained down upon him if ever his true feelings were to be revealed. And that was to say nothing of the gossip that would surely erupt from two Noldorin princes being found to be lovers. Maedhros and Fingon were both of the house of Finwë, and it was uncommon for love to blossom between kin so near.

Despite all this, sometimes his heart would ache so much. He would look into Fingon’s eyes and would feel such a torturous sense of longing. While walking together in their aunt’s gardens, their arms might touch ever so briefly, and it would take all of Maedhros’ strength just to stop a blush from rising in his cheeks. Maybe he should just tell him, Maedhros would think. Maybe he should just take his friend’s hands and gaze into his beautiful grey eyes and just confess all of his passion and feelings and love. Maybe by some miracle of Eru, Fingon would confess he felt the same. And maybe their families and their people would see the purity in their love for each other and they would accept it and it wouldn’t need to be a secret.

But no, Maedhros shook such ridiculous thoughts aside. Fingon was a flirt, and quite a few young Elf maidens pined after him. He seemed to delight in such attentions, and though he had not given his heart to any yet, nor admitted to any particular fancies, Maedhros was sure that in due time his dear friend would take a wife befitting of a Noldorin prince.

No, to confess his love now would ruin everything. It would ruin their families; it would ruin their reputations. And worst of all, it would ruin their friendship. Maedhros cringed as he imagined the disgust in Fingon’s eyes should he ever find out the truth. Anxiety rose in his chest at the thought of being rebuffed, at the thought of destroying their lifelong friendship. How cruel it would be, and how shameful. Even though sweet Fingon would likely turn him down gently, he knew that the awkwardness of it would ruin their relationship forever.

He had decided that he must bear this burden of unrequited love, and he must bear it silently. He knew that this was no youthful crush that would pass in time. And though he had tried, he had realized that he would never be able to turn his affections to another. He knew he had love only for Fingon, and he would always love Fingon. To take another lover would be cruel; he would not condemn another soul to a loveless marriage. So he had resigned himself to remain forever single, and to remain by Fingon’s side in friendship.

A shout from Fingon brought Maedhros out of his mournful thoughts. They were coming up on Fingon’s favorite pear tree grove, a gorgeous spot on a low hill, perfect for picnics and gazing at the view of the Two Trees to the southwest. As Maedhros bid his horse quicken its pace, he could see the pears appeared abundant and ripe. He came up the hill and watched Fingon dismount. His cousin smiled up at him then, windswept hair and a braid coming loose giving a wildness to his beauty.

“The pears look so delicious!” Fingon said. “I’m so happy we were able to make it out here in time to pick some.”

Maedhros hopped down off of his own mount, running his fingers through the horse’s mane as it bent down to graze. “So am I,” he said.

They spent the afternoon under those trees, enjoying the sweetness of the freshly picked pears. The horses pranced about around the hill and Laurelin’s light was fading by the time Fingon had filled his knapsack with fruit. The stars were peaking from the dimming sky. In the distance, Telperion’s soft silver glow was beginning to shine ever so slightly. At the changing of the Lights, night would fall, but Maedhros did not wish to hurry back to Tirion just yet.

Maedhros glanced over at his cousin who had dropped his knapsack and had leapt onto a low branch of one of the older pear trees.

“Won’t you join me, Nelyo?” Fingon asked. “The view is quite lovely up here.”

“Will the bough hold us both?” said Maedhros. Fingon was valiant and undaunted by risks, but Maedhros had always been more cautious.

Fingon laughed, his smile causing a flutter in Maedhros’ heart. “Put on weight recently, have you?”

Maedhros frowned playfully and reached for the branch. He was tall enough that his fingertips were just able to grab it. He was about to heave himself up, but Fingon reached for his hand. For half a moment, Maedhros hesitated, but glancing at his cousin’s warm smile, he took his hand and allowed himself to be helped up onto the branch.

As Maedhros was pulled up, his face came so close to Fingon’s that their noses were almost touching. For half a moment they just stared into each other’s eyes. Fingon’s blue irises penetrated his own green ones. Suddenly, the world all around them was still as Maedhros longed to lean forward and kiss his cousin’s slightly parted lips. In that moment it almost seemed like Fingon was leaning into him and drawing their faces closer. And then Maedhros came back to himself. He turned his face away, feeling himself blush as he adjusted his body up onto the branch.

“Thank you, Finno,” Maedhros said awkwardly, letting go of his hand once he was settled securely.

“You’re welcome,” said Fingon, grinning. “You weren’t so heavy after all.” He gazed toward the Two Trees, now a brilliant contrast of gold and silver as Laurelin waned and Telperion waxed. “Sometimes I wish we could live out here, under the sky in this unfiltered Light. I grow so restless in the city. I just want to be free of it all.”

“That would be nice,” said Maedhros. “I do tire of the gossips. And my father.”

Fingon laughed in agreement. “I’d like to see more of the world, too. I want to go east one day, see if we could meet our long sundered kin. And maybe even farther than that. I want to see all of Arda. If such a feat is possible…”

“I’m sure it’s possible. I’ve see some old maps that Grandfather has. Though, far to the east is quite unknown and to the south there is much Darkness. Not that that would frighten you, I suppose.”

Fingon laughed again. “We will do it one day, you and I. We will cross the sea together, I just know it. And none will stop us, not family, nor Vala, nor Darkness.”

Maedhros glanced at his cousin. He so admired Fingon’s courage and ambition, his strength and his zest for life.

In that moment Fingon turned to him and leaned closer. “Your hair really does look beautiful in this light, Russandol.”

Maedhros’ own beauty and his hair had always been a source of pride, but nonetheless he found himself blushing, and then Fingon laughed. _Is he mocking me?_

Abruptly Fingon looked up and changed the subject. “Do you think I could make it to the very top?”

Maedhros hesitated and then snorted. “I’m sure you could try. But Kementari may send her Tree Herders after you if you damage it. Wait… Finno!”

Fingon had already begun to climb. Maedhros sighed and looked back toward Telperion, which was almost fully lit now, stars gleaming in the sky above. He tried not to think of the charged moments that had just been shared between them. _They weren’t_ moments _though,_ he thought to himself. _That is just Finno- spontaneous and outgoing and a flirt without knowing it. It is just my wishful thinking- my own foolish mind._

Something brushed Maedhros legs as they dangled below the branch. He looked down to find his mare nudging her muzzle into Fingon’s knapsack, no doubt seeking a juicy snack.

“Hey!” he said playfully as he jumped off the branch. “You sneaky little thief!” As he went to reach for the knapsack, a shout came from above, followed by twigs and branches crashing to the ground around him. The mare startled and trotted off down the hill. Maedhros looked back up to find his cousin dangling from one of the higher branches.

“Findekáno!” he shouted in surprise.

“Oh fuck,” Fingon laughed nervously.

Maedhros found himself chuckling. Fingon was valiant but oftentimes his rashness got him into trouble. He held out his hands. “Jump, Finno!” he said. “You’re not that high up. I’ll catch you!”

“It’s fine… I think I can pull myself up and…”

“Don’t be stupid! You’ll be stuck up there!”

“Alright… I’m letting go now!” And with that, Fingon let go, crashing down into Maedhros’ arms with slightly more force than expected. Both of them tumbled to the ground and for a moment Maedhros saw stars.

He shook his head, reorienting himself and found himself lying on his back and Fingon on top of him, giggling.

“I’m so sorry, Nelyo! Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” said Maedhros through gritted teeth. “No thanks to the fool pinning me down…”

Fingon made no move to get off him. Instead, he grinned and inched his face close to Maedhros’ own. Once again, their noses were almost touching. “Thank you, Nelyo, for catching me…” he murmured.

“It…” Maedhros began, his heart racing. “It was nothing…” He gazed into Fingon’s eyes. They were so close and he could feel his cousin’s gentle breath on his cheek. Their noses brushed against each other. Fingon leaned closer and all of a sudden the world around them melted. Maedhros closed his eyes as he felt Fingon’s lips meet his own in a tender, blissful kiss.

That moment could have lasted an eternity. Butterflies fluttered in Maedhros’ stomach as so suddenly the one thing he had dreamed of for so long was happening. All of Arda was standing still. There was nothing left but the warm press of Fingon on top of him, the smooth scent of his hair, his soft lips pressing gently into his own. They tasted like pear. But then Maedhros opened his eyes as emotions of excitement, euphoria, confusion, doubt, and dread all abruptly rushed up at once. He sat up in shock and Fingon jerked away.

“I…” Fingon said after a few breaths. He flushed and looked down at the grass, seeming uncharacteristically ashamed. “I- I’m sorry. That- I- I shouldn’t have done that…”

Maedhros stared at his cousin. Had they really just kissed? He wanted to say something but his voice was caught in his throat.

“For so long,” Fingon began, his hands trembling as he looked up to meet Maedhros’ eyes. “For so long I’ve wanted to tell you the truth, Nelyo. I think I… I want you. I love you and I want to be with you!” He paused, taking a shaky breath. “And I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long, I wanted to tell you for so long. I guess I… I just can’t keep it a secret anymore, Nelyo! And if that means you don’t want to be my friend anymore, if you don’t want to see me anymore, then I understand, I accept that. But I just have to let you know or else I fear I will be driven mad…”

Maedhros was still at a loss for words. Fingon was saying everything that he had ever wanted to say to him. _Is this a dream? No… no it can’t be… Then, is this a cruel joke?_ But he looked into his cousin’s eyes welling with tears as he anxiously awaited a response. There was such sincerity that Maedhros knew then that this was real.

“Oh Finno!” he said, pulling his cousin into his arms. He felt his heart soaring and he couldn’t stop himself for smiling. He cupped Fingon’s chin in his hand and kissed him again. “Don’t apologize! I can’t believe this… I’ve wanted the same thing for so long! To hold you and kiss you and tell you that I love you. I’ve tortured myself over this… I just can’t believe it…”

Fingon was smiling now, tears of joy in the corners of his eyes. “Russo,” he said, running his hand through Maedhros’ hair. “I- I can’t believe it either. I guess we’re just a pair of fools.”

Maedhros laughed and kissed his cousin again, this time savoring it. They held each other as they melted into the grass. Their legs intertwined and they laughed so purely together. There was such joy flowing through Maedhros’ veins. His fëa felt illuminated like it never had been before. He couldn’t remember if he had ever felt this happy in his entire life.

Time and space faded away and there was nothing in all of Eä but the two of them. They kissed again and Maedhros felt that he could never let go. He felt Fingon’s hands on his hips and he pulled him close as they explored the contours of each other’s bodies. The feel of Fingon’s fingers on his skin sent radiant light through his fëa. Their kisses were only broken by the mirthful laughter that neither of them could contain. And then they just looked at each other, Maedhros stroking Fingon’s hair as he felt hands cupping his cheek. Everything was just perfect.

They stayed there in the pear grove long into night, under the stars and Telperion’s light. Maedhros didn’t want it to ever end. But the city lights from Tirion to the east were shining on them, reminding them that it would end, and they would have to go back. Maedhros sighed as he glanced at Fingon who was snuggling into his chest. When they went back, they would likely have to keep this a secret, at least for a while. But he decided he wouldn’t think about that just yet. He would stay out on the hill with Fingon a little bit longer and pretend that moment would never end.


End file.
